“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off,” once said Gloria Steinem and dedicated her life to feminism. |
(c) 2014 T. Jerris
This blog is designed for all the hard-working writers standing in the shadows of success.
“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off,” once said Gloria Steinem and dedicated her life to feminism. |
In wake of what’s happened over the past few days, with the killing of Bin Laden, I thought it only appropriate to kill my post I had written about Lindsay Lohan… Well, sort of. Now, I know I said I wouldn’t give Lilo any more attention, but I couldn’t resist myself when it was reported that Lindsay would be teaching acting classes to homeless women as part of her 360 hours of community service. Right. Like those women are going to go out and land the role of a lifetime after that. Then again, with the right monologue… No, I promised myself not to focus on Lindsay. Although… It would be interesting to see her direct an adaptation of the movie To Catch A Thief as an all-female play. That, or The House Without A Christmas Tree, only I’d call it The Empty Amana Refrigerator Box Without Heat or Running Water.
Speaking of plays, the Tony Awards announced their nominations yesterday (How’s that for a segue?), with ‘two very daring musicals’ leading the pack: “The Book of Mormon” and “The Scottsboro Boys.” In brief, “Mormon” depends on potty humor, with diarrhea jokes and songs about body parts, to get laughs, while “Scottsboro” – based on the real story of 9 black teenagers wrongly put on death row in the 1930’s for allegedly raping two white girls – pushed the envelope of traditional Broadway by framing the story as a minstrel show, using a racist storytelling device of whites in black face, and then challenging it by having an all-black cast. (This may explain why the latter closed abruptly in December of 2010 after only 49 performances.) Rounding out the best new musical nominees were “Sister Act” and “Catch Me If You Can,” both adaptations of movies.
So, what happened to “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark?” Well, unless you’ve been living under the Verrazano Bridge, the $65 million dollar (and counting) production has been struggling to spin a web on critics and audiences alike since 4-months of troubled reviews, while giving the boot to its creator/director, Julie Taymor. Poor Julie… If she only had another a couple more million dollars, a few more months, and a few more actors willing to risk their lives and drop like flies into the audience due to technical glitches, she might’ve been able to do something really special— She has! She’s created the biggest BOMB in Broadway history! But in all fairness, Ms. Taymor isn’t entirely at fault. In order to construct the bomb, one needs money, and that comes from the producers who were banking on a “sure thing.” After all, Ms. Taymor had become the first woman to win a Tony Award for directing the musical, “The Lion King.” Yet, even though there were clear indications that “Spider-Man” was struggling during its creative process, the producers continued to pour exuberant amounts of monies into what was suspected, a doomed production, keeping in mind that they embarked on the ill-fated journey in 2005. (FYI, it might’ve been an omen when legendary producer, Tony Adams, of “Pink Panther” fame, suffered a stroke in 2005 and died 2 days later while working on the initial contracts.)
That was nearly… Dare I say it? 15 years ago. Why? Because bigger producers would rather invest their monies into “a sure thing,” like an adaptation of “Spider-Man” instead of taking a chance on something original by an unknown. Still, every now and again, I get the urge to return to my theatre roots and write something for the stage, so recently, I started throwing around ideas for a new interactive piece called, “Bin Laden: The Musical!” Think about it, everyone in the audience is handed a paintball gun and they get to shoot at the actor playing Bin Laden as he sings the ballad “Don’t Cry For Me Al Jazeera.” I’m telling you, with the right director, this show could be ‘the bomb!’ Hmmm… I wonder what Julie Taymor’s up to?
Just when you thought you’d heard the last of him, Levi Johnston is back to set the record straight about the Palin family in a new “tell-all book,” “Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs.” Now, if you’ve read any of my earlier posts, then you’ll know why I’m not going to give recognition to the publisher of his new book, but according to Levi’s friend (didn’t say if they were imaginary), Levi is ready to talk about what it was like being thrust into the spotlight at such a young age, along with his contentious relationship with the Palins.
Crickets…
Okay, and then what?
More crickets…
Haven’t we read all there is to read about Levi, not to mention seen enough of him in his Playgirl spread? Or do we have to be reminded that a high school dropout, turned former hockey player, turned philandering deadbeat dad, turned wannabe mayor of Wasilla, Alaska that is all a part of a new TV reality show is given a book deal, when so many of us who ARE writers with a story that HASN’T been told are given squat?
Hello, People! – the magazine, not the populace – Us Weekly, Star Magazine, The Enquirer,
and the nameless publisher who, no doubt, hired a ghostwriter to pen Levi’s book; stop giving attention to those who’ve not only have had it (Lindsay Lohan), but obviously abused it (Charlie Sheen). Okay, so maybe Levi was thrust into the spotlight at a young age, but do we have to glorify it and his ego by slapping his face on the cover of a magazine or book's dust jacket?
Personally, I think it’d make a much better read if Levi went to Iraq or Afghanistan, and then once he comes back, pens a “tell-all book” about how he’s all grown up after being caught in the crossfire, not crosshairs… Just saying.
While many Americans on “Good Friday” went to church and prepared for the upcoming Easter weekend, Lindsay Lohan spent another “Freaky Friday” in court, where she was slapped with a 120 days in jail for violating her probation. Ah, but as fate (or money) will have it, Ms. Lohan, posted bail ($75,000) Friday night, and was once again freed from the Lynwood Correctional facility. Still, Judge Stephanie Saunters gave Lohan almost 500 hours of community service, which requires the actress to spend 360 hours of those hours at a women’s shelter in downtown Los Angeles, and another 120 hours at the LA County morgue so, according to Judge Saunters, the actress: “Sees what happens when people drink and drive.” – Hey, wasn’t that the tagline from Linday’s movie “Herbie, Fully Loaded”?
Now, it’s no secret that the average person wouldn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of getting as many free passes as Lindsay – or as she’s now known as ‘Lilo’ – has. But do we really need a 24-hour ‘Lilo Watch’ when we already know the outcome? I mean, we’ve already witnessed the train wreck. What exactly are we watching for? What she’s wearing? If she’ll arrive at court on time? Oh, look! She’s shedding a tear! (Relax, Lilo. You already got the part in the new Gotti fi
lm.)
To be fair, I’m not necessarily pointing a finger at Lilo per say. My finger is pointed at the media, and they know which one. Too much attention has already been given to the likes of Lilo and Charlie Sheen. We already get their recklessness, carelessness and selfishness. Do we really need to be reminded of it over, and over, and over again? Aren’t there more serious issues at hand in the world needing our attention? Aren’t their more desperate people on this planet who don’t have a nickel in their pocket, yet are passionate to make a difference?
Oh, right. I keep forgetting, I live in Hollywood, where the media pays ALL their attention to star value. Now, I know what you’re probably saying, ‘If you’re so down on Hollywood, why do you live there?’ Well, for starters, I am passionate, about my craft. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t sit down and write… something, just to keep the creative juices flowing. Secondly, I’ve hit a rough spot recently, financially, and, while I have more than a nickel in my pocket, I refuse to give up on my dream of becoming a successful writer. And I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t bask in the spotlight once I’ve achieved that goal, only I wouldn’t abuse it. Instead, I’d embrace it, and remember, as clichés as it might sound, ‘my humble beginnings.’
Personally, I believe that’s a major problem in Hollywood. Too many people, be it celebrities or those working in the industry, didn’t have humble beginnings. They somehow weaseled their way into the world of show business, and only associate or surround themselves with people of the same caliber. And yet, I’ve met the humble few who were once top of their game in this town, yet now can’t seem to get arrested (pun intended), which brings me back to Lindsay…
This has been the 4th time this Mean Girl has been sentenced to jail (even though three of those
times she stayed just a few hours), and the judge this time reduced the felony grand theft charge for stealing the now infamous necklace to a misdemeanor, saying, “I’m going to give her an opportunity.” My only hope would be that the media also takes this opportunity to shut off their
cameras and not give Lilo anymore attention… Hey, we all have a wish list.
Ironically, in my first ever blog posting, I briefly gave mention to author James Frey (“A Million Little Pieces”), who, like Greg Mortenson (“3 Cups of Tea”), came under scrutinyfor writing a fallacious memoir, and how Frey was even able to pull the wool over Oprah’s eyes in 2005, landing him a spot in her book club. Now, according to today’s news, Frey is reportedly returning to one of the talk show queen’s final shows to talk about how his life was affected by the scandal over the past 5 years.
Really, Oprah?? You already threw the guy under the bus back in 2006 for lying to you, and you’re inviting him back? For what? Ratings? To prove that you made his life better by outing him? Maybe it’s a combination of both, but for someone who reminds her audience on a daily basis of how many days are left until your farewell performance, couldn’t you have chosen a guest with a little more integrity? There are a lot to choose from, but just in case you need a few suggestions, here’s my short list: servicemen and their families, cancer survivors and their families, firemen, the volunteer at the local soup kitchen, and the unemployed single parent trying to make ends meet— Anyone but the man you publicly shamed for lying to you five years back, who, it just so happens, is pushing his new book, “The Final Testament of the Holy Bible.”
Ooops! There’s goes my chances of being a guest… Like that would ever happen in the 20-some-odd days she has left on the air. Look, I admit, I do watch Oprah (Tivo), and I enjoy the majority of her shows (Whitney on crack—that is, her voice cracking), especially this year’s segments (You’re going to Australia! You’re going to Australia! You’re going to Australia!), but is Oprah really running out of
that many ideas that she can’t find someone other than a guy who gives authentic non-fiction writers a bad name?
I realize it's the producers who bring their ideas to Oprah. Let's hope she reconsiders this one.